Trying to stand, you stumble. Trying to think, your mind blurs. Inside your head is a whirlpool of half finished thoughts, inside your gut is a churning of dread. You've drunk so much you've forgotten why you started but the taste in your mouth reminds you of every drop. The pain you felt isn't gone, only replaced. Bile rising you avert your face, but in every direction there's another passenger. You see every glance as an accusation, every expression is one of disgust. You lean on the seat, the only escape is downwards and you take it, resting your head in the soft crook of your arm, forehead pressing against the cooling plastic. Finally, your eyes are sweetly hidden from passing gazes, finally safe, finally secure. And it's then you vomit up your lunch.
And it's then you hope that maybe nobody is looking at you now.
I kid you not, this is the description of the man in front of me on the train today. Well, the end part is, the beginning is pure conjecture.
It got me thinking, although not quite enough, as disturbingly all my mind wanted to think about was "Does that smell like Coq au vin?" (That's probably just the result of eating chicken, drinking wine, and letting it cook in your stomach for a couple of hours - wonderful). But it did get me thinking about what you can get away with on a train. This man just regurgitated the last 4 hours of his life onto the floor, and on that train, at that moment, he went instantly from just another nobody to that guy. Yeah, that guy who threw up on the train that time, you remember? Instant infamy. And then at the very next stop, he leaves the train, and with one step he becomes invisible again.
Everyone around him now has no idea what he's done, and everyone who knew is leaving.
With that one step he's born again, new and pure, his disgusting past already unknown, already beginning his new life.
And as the train pulls away, and I watch him sway gracefully towards a bench, I can't help but feel just a little jealous...
Monday 5 October 2009
Saturday 3 October 2009
Things that I just did that I have opinions on
Okay, so I just downloaded and played the demo of Brutal Legend, the second game by Double Fine Productions with the first being Psychonauts, so I already had pretty high expectations. Unfortunately the demo is only about 5 minutes long. And amazingly it is still freaking excellent in that little time. It has that hilarious, obscure, random humour and charm that is so rare now, because so many are so scared of shying away from proven genres and titles.
Double Fine have a history of releasing truly unique, interesting fun games that throw away any mainstream bullshit that ruins a lot of titles just trying to appeal to a few more people (I know that sounds wrong as they still only have 1 actual game, but they have mini games and comics as well!). More developers should take example from them and actually put some real effort into their work. For example, a decent story, decent writing, decent characters! Either the industry has just become incredibly fucking lazy, or they are really undervaluing/underestimating their consumer base. Oh hey, everyone loves World War 2, let's bring out a World War 2 game, and ours if different because we've got a wisecracking soldier, and a tortured soldier and a confident leader soldier, and Nazis! And everything is fucking brown.
I assume it's because they think people want "realism" but I'm not playing games to be real, they're supposed to take you away from reality. No one cares that you have some dust clouds that look more like real dust clouds when your characters are copy pasted from every cliched stereotype already produced. No one cares that your faces look and act like real people up close when on screen they're all so tiny and pass by so quickly that you can't make them out anyway. No one cares that those leaves move around pretty realistically when you're driving past at 50 miles an hour. We've reached a stage now where good graphics should be standard with any game, especially when there have been titles with shit graphics that are still incredible experiences. It's not about realism, it's about style. They shouldn't be able to get away with making rubbish.
Then again, we still buy their shit, so we only have ourselves to blame.
The other demo I just played was for WET, which I thought was going to be crap. Just another game who's selling point is that you're looking at the backside of some ridiculously attractive woman the whole game.
And this is true.
However! I actually found this a lot of fun. It's a really interesting blend of spaghetti western Hong Kong action cinema in a modern urban setting. Just full of over the top, stylised acrobatic violence bullet-time insanity that I thought had reached it's fun limit, and then burst into a crazy comic book noir tri-colour rage, which then goes into a Matrix inspired highway car chase where you start wall running off moving trucks and back flipping over exploding cars.
Was this realistic? No.
Was it fun? Yes.
Do you see where this is headed?
Probably not, this rant is getting a bit tired now. Anyway, the demo was a lot of fun with a main character who's level of baddassery is close to the Starbuck marker and the snippets they show make the other assassins out there look very interesting. For example: Some kind of cowboy renaissance-France musketeer. A blind albino woman called the Scorpion, which I can only assume is because she holds her dual sub machine guns above her head (not with her tail).
This game basically looks like Kill Bill meets John Woos Stranglehold, which is pretty great.
You know, if you're into that kind of thing.
Tune in next time where I start my list of "Things that annoy/amuse me" which I was going to do as a whole list, but I might make into a few longer installments. Just to really stretch out the little material that I have. Let's hope it doesn't rip.
Double Fine have a history of releasing truly unique, interesting fun games that throw away any mainstream bullshit that ruins a lot of titles just trying to appeal to a few more people (I know that sounds wrong as they still only have 1 actual game, but they have mini games and comics as well!). More developers should take example from them and actually put some real effort into their work. For example, a decent story, decent writing, decent characters! Either the industry has just become incredibly fucking lazy, or they are really undervaluing/underestimating their consumer base. Oh hey, everyone loves World War 2, let's bring out a World War 2 game, and ours if different because we've got a wisecracking soldier, and a tortured soldier and a confident leader soldier, and Nazis! And everything is fucking brown.
I assume it's because they think people want "realism" but I'm not playing games to be real, they're supposed to take you away from reality. No one cares that you have some dust clouds that look more like real dust clouds when your characters are copy pasted from every cliched stereotype already produced. No one cares that your faces look and act like real people up close when on screen they're all so tiny and pass by so quickly that you can't make them out anyway. No one cares that those leaves move around pretty realistically when you're driving past at 50 miles an hour. We've reached a stage now where good graphics should be standard with any game, especially when there have been titles with shit graphics that are still incredible experiences. It's not about realism, it's about style. They shouldn't be able to get away with making rubbish.
Then again, we still buy their shit, so we only have ourselves to blame.
The other demo I just played was for WET, which I thought was going to be crap. Just another game who's selling point is that you're looking at the backside of some ridiculously attractive woman the whole game.
And this is true.
However! I actually found this a lot of fun. It's a really interesting blend of spaghetti western Hong Kong action cinema in a modern urban setting. Just full of over the top, stylised acrobatic violence bullet-time insanity that I thought had reached it's fun limit, and then burst into a crazy comic book noir tri-colour rage, which then goes into a Matrix inspired highway car chase where you start wall running off moving trucks and back flipping over exploding cars.
Was this realistic? No.
Was it fun? Yes.
Do you see where this is headed?
Probably not, this rant is getting a bit tired now. Anyway, the demo was a lot of fun with a main character who's level of baddassery is close to the Starbuck marker and the snippets they show make the other assassins out there look very interesting. For example: Some kind of cowboy renaissance-France musketeer. A blind albino woman called the Scorpion, which I can only assume is because she holds her dual sub machine guns above her head (not with her tail).
This game basically looks like Kill Bill meets John Woos Stranglehold, which is pretty great.
You know, if you're into that kind of thing.
Tune in next time where I start my list of "Things that annoy/amuse me" which I was going to do as a whole list, but I might make into a few longer installments. Just to really stretch out the little material that I have. Let's hope it doesn't rip.
Friday 17 April 2009
Things I sometimes notice
So, I don't think I would ever go to the town of Smallville, because everything there seems to explode. Any car that gets set on fire there erupts into a mushroom cloud of flame, taking surrounding camper vans and sheds with it in pieces. Seriously, the whole town is balancing on the edge of the apocalypse.
I reckon everyone gets a bit nervous when watching the weather channel as I'm pretty sure that wispy clouds coalescing in the stratosphere are able to detonate a toaster oven with the force of a localised nuclear bomb.
Another thing I wonder about Smallville is how clever the students at Smallville high really are because they get hit on the head ALOT. I'm really worried about Pete Ross because he's basically been knocked out every episode he's been in it. That's probably the reason for his hair. He doesn't shave it, he's just been hit so many times it refuses to grow.
I'm also wondering how many songs contain the phrases "You're all I want" or "You're all I need". Glancing at Google, the answer is - Shitloads.
The last thing that I notice is that whenever I see something related to architecture I get a little sick inside. So far I'm staying away from Grand Designs, that advert where some famous builder builds a shed, anything that's made with 3d rendering and cinemas because that's what my project is on.
After writing that list I need to go throw up. Excuse me.
I reckon everyone gets a bit nervous when watching the weather channel as I'm pretty sure that wispy clouds coalescing in the stratosphere are able to detonate a toaster oven with the force of a localised nuclear bomb.
Another thing I wonder about Smallville is how clever the students at Smallville high really are because they get hit on the head ALOT. I'm really worried about Pete Ross because he's basically been knocked out every episode he's been in it. That's probably the reason for his hair. He doesn't shave it, he's just been hit so many times it refuses to grow.
I'm also wondering how many songs contain the phrases "You're all I want" or "You're all I need". Glancing at Google, the answer is - Shitloads.
The last thing that I notice is that whenever I see something related to architecture I get a little sick inside. So far I'm staying away from Grand Designs, that advert where some famous builder builds a shed, anything that's made with 3d rendering and cinemas because that's what my project is on.
After writing that list I need to go throw up. Excuse me.
Tuesday 17 March 2009
It's Sex on TV
So I finally got around to watching the last episode of Torchwood, which explained why there were only 3 of them in the Doctor Who finale.
I remember reading an article about Torchwood a while back, about how the characters interact with each other. The idea is that they have no fixed sexual orientation, so you could never say "Oh this is the straight character" or "This is the gay character". It's a noble goal, as that can become the defining feature of a lot of characters, taking a lot away from what else they have to offer. The problem in Torchwood though, is that because none of them have fixed orientations, and the writers want you to know this, it has to be written into the script.
This means that every character just comes across as a huge slut.
They hit on ANYTHING, (That's actually quite literal in the case of one character, but that's quite funny) and it does make it feel like most of the population of Wales spends the majority of their time trying to get laid, and the rest being chased by aliens. In their defense they do live very near a dangerous and potentially deadly rift in time and space, so, might as well make the most of it.
This is probably the reason I stopped watching TV at home. It might just be me, but I find it incredibly awkward when watching TV with your parents and some sex scene comes around. Every thing's fine, a little family bonding going on, everyone is happy - then the main characters start ripping off each other clothes and passionately making out and suddenly the entire room is quiet apart from the TV. No one knows what to say really, and that silence is crushing.
"Do I make a joke? But that would draw attention to it. No, best I say nothing, it'll probably be over soon", I think, as the characters in the TV are slamming each other alternatively into the refrigerator (This particular scene takes place in a kitchen apparently). "Wow, how long has it been now? This is going on for ages"
And I can do nothing about it apart from fidget nervously and become extremely interested in a drinks coaster I found.
I remember reading an article about Torchwood a while back, about how the characters interact with each other. The idea is that they have no fixed sexual orientation, so you could never say "Oh this is the straight character" or "This is the gay character". It's a noble goal, as that can become the defining feature of a lot of characters, taking a lot away from what else they have to offer. The problem in Torchwood though, is that because none of them have fixed orientations, and the writers want you to know this, it has to be written into the script.
This means that every character just comes across as a huge slut.
They hit on ANYTHING, (That's actually quite literal in the case of one character, but that's quite funny) and it does make it feel like most of the population of Wales spends the majority of their time trying to get laid, and the rest being chased by aliens. In their defense they do live very near a dangerous and potentially deadly rift in time and space, so, might as well make the most of it.
This is probably the reason I stopped watching TV at home. It might just be me, but I find it incredibly awkward when watching TV with your parents and some sex scene comes around. Every thing's fine, a little family bonding going on, everyone is happy - then the main characters start ripping off each other clothes and passionately making out and suddenly the entire room is quiet apart from the TV. No one knows what to say really, and that silence is crushing.
"Do I make a joke? But that would draw attention to it. No, best I say nothing, it'll probably be over soon", I think, as the characters in the TV are slamming each other alternatively into the refrigerator (This particular scene takes place in a kitchen apparently). "Wow, how long has it been now? This is going on for ages"
And I can do nothing about it apart from fidget nervously and become extremely interested in a drinks coaster I found.
Saturday 14 February 2009
Something of Note
Just drawing your attention to these folks
Improv Everywhere
They perform large scale, what they call, "pranks", which I call little gems that shine in a sea of social effluent. There's a whole series of brilliantly crafted scenarios, many of which are purely designed to bring a bonefide moment of happiness to someone.
Truly great. And a nice change from the usual prank of some drunk guy getting kicked in the nuts.
I think that this one might be one of my favourites.
Improv Everywhere
They perform large scale, what they call, "pranks", which I call little gems that shine in a sea of social effluent. There's a whole series of brilliantly crafted scenarios, many of which are purely designed to bring a bonefide moment of happiness to someone.
Truly great. And a nice change from the usual prank of some drunk guy getting kicked in the nuts.
I think that this one might be one of my favourites.
Thursday 12 February 2009
Architecture Stuffs
I'm kinda taking a break from work, but need to keep thinking about it, so I thought I'd write it all down.
My Crit last Friday was both helpfull and soul crushing, which is basically the calling card of one of my tutors. First he destroys you, but then throws out a couple of scraps for you to grab hold of; A life-line, so that you don't drown in your own tears.
(That's something else. He seems to think I'm on the verge of suicide because he's always telling me not to look so depressed. I am not depressed! This is my thinking face! It is devoid of expression!)
Anyway, overall he said my individual ideas were strong (interesting Past/Present/Future thing we had to do, challenging site location etc) but I needed to be more specific in my analysis of the area and try to link my ideas together.
So, as my Past/Present/Future was all about the Cinema of Finland (the project is based in Helsinki) I'm linking cinematic techniques into my site analysis, starting with generic ideas like Size of Shot (Establishing Shot - overview of site, existing typologies and programmes etc. Close up Shot - texture analysis over the site area. Long Shots - Exploration of specific important views that I want to maintain/enhance) and then in the actual design stage consider lighting, filters, Mise-en-scéne influenced by local film producers like Aki Kaurismaki (Who I'm starting to really like even though I haven't even seen one of his films yet).
Hopefully this'll work out... There's a lot more linkage between my ideas now, with what could be a really good overlying theme that I didn't think of at all before for the "Guide Book" we need to produce that will accompany the project.
Well, we'll find out in tomorrows tutorials. Round table discussion :( There's always some jerk who shows everyone else up.
Monday 9 February 2009
About Blogs
You might think that in a blog, a person reveals who they really are. I would say that they reveal a lot less of who they are, and a lot more of whom they want to be seen as. Thanks to internet anonymity you can be a more confident person, a funnier person, or a sexy teen girl who is actually an old man using the screen name ‘xXhotgurl66Xx’ [This is a cliché].
Want to see this in action? Whip out a camera in any given social situation and watch everything change! Depending on the person and on their blood-alcohol level they will perform a variety of actions, including but not limited to:-
Blush
Fidget awkwardly
Talk louder and more intelligently (pretentiously), pretending not to see camera
Be a dick
Lift up shirt and scream
Personally I like to hide away and shut my mouth, lest I say something retarded that will be uploaded to Facebook within the hour.
The advantage of a blog is that it’s not live. At the moment, I am writing this in MSWord due to my crippling fear that one or both of the two people who actually might read this will pick up on a spelling error and ridicule me for the rest of my natural born life. All because I said my favourite desert was pudding (It’s actually Gobi). Of course, there are problems with using a word processor, like when my friend thought it would be a great idea to spice up his Personal Statement using synonyms. This is fine in moderation, but when you start using it for every other word, with each one meaning some subtly different, it does tend to turn your work into some kind of Shakespearian mind-fuck. ‘I am a durable proletarian’ is not the same as ‘I am a hard worker’.
So I guess that’s all I’m really saying with this terrible post. People pretend to be something else, but that’s basically what most of us do all the time anyway, right? I mean look at me, I write like a I’m a 16 year old, but I’m actually a 25 year old golden haired Adonis with too much money to know what to do with it who just wants someone to love me for me.
Ladiiies?
I’m thinking of writing a blog about blogs, and then later someone can write a blog about my blog about blogs and we can make the universe explode. Together. As one nation.
Want to see this in action? Whip out a camera in any given social situation and watch everything change! Depending on the person and on their blood-alcohol level they will perform a variety of actions, including but not limited to:-
Blush
Fidget awkwardly
Talk louder and more intelligently (pretentiously), pretending not to see camera
Be a dick
Lift up shirt and scream
Personally I like to hide away and shut my mouth, lest I say something retarded that will be uploaded to Facebook within the hour.
The advantage of a blog is that it’s not live. At the moment, I am writing this in MSWord due to my crippling fear that one or both of the two people who actually might read this will pick up on a spelling error and ridicule me for the rest of my natural born life. All because I said my favourite desert was pudding (It’s actually Gobi). Of course, there are problems with using a word processor, like when my friend thought it would be a great idea to spice up his Personal Statement using synonyms. This is fine in moderation, but when you start using it for every other word, with each one meaning some subtly different, it does tend to turn your work into some kind of Shakespearian mind-fuck. ‘I am a durable proletarian’ is not the same as ‘I am a hard worker’.
So I guess that’s all I’m really saying with this terrible post. People pretend to be something else, but that’s basically what most of us do all the time anyway, right? I mean look at me, I write like a I’m a 16 year old, but I’m actually a 25 year old golden haired Adonis with too much money to know what to do with it who just wants someone to love me for me.
Ladiiies?
I’m thinking of writing a blog about blogs, and then later someone can write a blog about my blog about blogs and we can make the universe explode. Together. As one nation.
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